monday morning was particularly painful today. this is due, in large part, to the twelve beers that i consumed during my superbowl party last night. don’t get me wrong–we had a good time, laughter and TONS OF FOOD. but for some reason it was necessary to have not one or two but ten or twelve beers with my plates of food. i feel disgusting.
i’ve toyed with the idea of giving up booze for good before. and the hesitation in the title of this post alludes to the fact that this time might be no different then before. but i think it might be. i am not telling a single person, but the entire internet. no really, i’m not telling anyone. at least not right away, i want to tell my boyfriend who is part of the inspiration for this move, but it is too delicate right now. he will see my strength soon enough when i turn down one of his home-brews.
you see, before i would do a 30 day challenge or a ‘only weekends’ policy. but something i have probably always known about myself and never fully admitted is that i am an all or nothing kind of girl. this is true of my work, my relationships and unfortunately my eating and drinking. so when someone asks ‘would you like a glass of wine?’—i not only always say yes but in my brain i hear ‘no–i want the whole bottle’.
i’ve proved time and time again that i have not a talent for moderation, therefore i plan to stop 100%. this makes me sad and my fear of being an un-fun, un-cool square is looming over me today. my hope is that is the beer-brain talking and not my real brain.
all support and criticism is welcome.